You’ve heard the phrase “don’t quit on a bad day,” right? This helpful phrase can apply to many areas of your life- a bad day at soccer practice, a bad day at work, a bad day attempting a new hobby or trying a new recipe… and it can definitely apply to breast pumping. For new, or even experienced pumpers, there can be some days when you just want to throw in the towel and pack up that pump (Or smash it to pieces, LOL) Here’s why I don’t think you should quit just yet…
Emotions Are Temporary, Decisions Are Permanent(ish)
When you’re having a bad day, your emotions are heightened. Stress, frustration, and exhaustion can cloud your judgment, leading to decisions you might regret later. It’s easy to feel like the only way out is to quit, but this decision is made under the influence of temporary emotions. Once the storm passes, you might find that the situation isn’t as dire as it seemed. Also… relactation is hard, sometimes impossible. It’s not always possible to just start lactating again after your body has weaned.
“It’s all right to cry; Crying makes you feel better”
There’s a song I used to listen to on a record *record scratch* yes, a RECORD at my grandma’s house. It was from 1974 (No, I’m not THAT old.) by Rosey Grier called “It’s all right to cry” from the album “Free to Be… You & Me” This was waaaaaay before “social emotional learning” was a legitimate science. This was back when kids were told to stop crying, that crying was for babies, that crying doesn’t solve anything. Way ahead of its time, for sure. The point is- It IS alright to cry. In the song, Rosey says “Feelings are such real things, and they change and change and change. It’s alright to know that feelings come and feeling go. It’s alright to cry, it might make you feel better.”
That’s what I want you to keep in mind. Feelings come and feelings go. They change and change and change. How you feel right now is VALID, and it’s okay to cry, but you won’t feel that way forever.
You WILL have a bad day, that’s part of the journey
Every breastfeeding journey, whether exclusive nursing, exclusive pumping, or a mixture of both, has its ups and downs. You will spill the milk, we all do at some point. Bad days are inevitable, but they are also a part of growth. They teach resilience, patience, and the ability to navigate challenges. Bad days tell you that there’s a problem to solve. They can actually be useful in helping you realize what you need. (Getting what you need is a whole ‘nother story, though.)
Clarity Comes with Time
On a bad day, it can feel like the challenges you’re facing are insurmountable. But taking a step back and giving yourself time to reflect can bring clarity. There might be a lot going on that can add to your bad mood (your baby is crying, you are tired, you’re hungry, and you need a shower) Going into a pumping session when you’re already in a bad mood suuuucks. Making a decision to quit when you’re in this mood can be a rash decision, and giving yourself time may help you approach the decision with a clear mind. You might realize that the problem is solvable or that it’s not as significant as it initially seemed. By giving yourself time, you’re allowing your rational mind to take over from your emotional one. Sleep can also help. There’s a reason “sleep on it” is common advice. One of the most comforting thoughts on a bad day is that tomorrow is a new day. Things can change dramatically overnight. A good night’s sleep (or even good stretch of sleep), a conversation with a friend, or simply the passage of time can make a world of difference. When you wake up with a fresh perspective, the problems of today might seem much more manageable.
You’re Stronger Than You Think
I’m not gonna sit here and pretend that everything is just dandy and slap on the ole “You Got This, Mama!” smile. Maybe you don’t “got this.” Bad days can make you feel weak or inadequate, but they also reveal your inner strength. Pushing through difficult times builds resilience and confidence. By not quitting, you’re proving to yourself that you can handle challenges, which will serve you well in the future. Not feeling strong? Talk to someone who has been on a similar journey. How did they work through it? What problems did they face and how did they solve them? If you don’t know any pumping mommas personally, hop online. In the online pumping community, there are maaaany mommas eager to share their struggles and successes with you. As you solve your pumping problems, you might identify strengths in yourself you never knew you had! Give yourself GRACE, and then when you are able, give yourself a high five.
Why “Don’t quit on a bad day” isn’t good enough advice.
I realize I just spend an entire blog post telling you not to quit on a bad day. Don’t get me wrong, “Don’t quit on a bad day” is GREAT advice… It’s just not good enough. Why?
So you’re having a bad day… a really bad day… you’re at your wits end… you wanna stop pumping. But you don’t, because you heard to “never quit on a bad day.” So you go to bed, hoping for a better day tomorrow.
And often, sleeping and waking refreshed DOES help. But what if it DOESN’T HELP?
Then what? Here’s my advice: YES, sleep on it. Making an important decision on heightened emotions is never a good idea.
THEN, if things aren’t magically better, vent and problem solve. What we call “venting” is simply sharing your emotions with someone, can be your partner or mother or cousin or friend or an online mom group. Share how you are feeling with SOMEONE. preferably, someone who shares a similar experience.
THEN, problem-solve. What isn’t working? How can you make it work better? Do you need to have a discussion with your partner about how they can support you better? Do you need to outsource something like ordering groceries or getting a cleaner? Do you need to find a better system for pumping and feeding? Do you need to change your pump schedule or drop a pump to increase your sanity? Do you need to begin supplementing with formula or donor milk? Do you need to begin the weaning process and bring your pumping journey to an end?
With a rested, clear mind, you CAN make important decisions.
You CAN do hard things, momma. I believe in you. 💛
It’s OKAY to quit if you need to. I repeat, It’s okay to quit if you need to.
Momma. *Takes your hands in my own, and looks you straight in the eyes.* If your mental or physical health is at stake, it’s okay to quit. Yes, I just spent an entire blog post giving you reasons why quitting on a bad day is a bad idea… but quitting, when you have really thought it through, is OKAY. You need to take care of yourself. A happy, healthy momma is waaaay more important than feeding your baby breastmilk. Here’s my best advice on weaning from the pump, to help the transition go as smoothly as possible for you.
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