First, let me tell you… Weaning from exclusive pumping is as much a MENTAL shift as a PHYSICAL one! We spend so long being concerned with, fixated on, even obsessed with producing more more more milk…. and now all of a sudden we have to shift that mindset to making less less less milk! It’s a weird shift, right? It can be really hard, too! On top of that, we often experience GUILT about weaning, which is ridiculous because we have enough to worry about as it is! On top of THAT, our hormones can really throw us for a look while weaning. *Sigh* It can be rough. So… what can we do about it?
Disclaimer- this is not a post about how to wean from excluvive pumping. (You’ll find that page HERE.) This is a post about how to deal with the effects of weaning, and how to make that essential mindset shift.
Making the shift
Raise your hand if you’ve spent days, weeks, even months concerned with building and protecting your milk supply. Me too, momma. You’re going to shift that mindset of “More More More” to “Less Less Less”. Work on getting excited to see fewer ounces- that means that your body is getting the message to create less milk, and that weaning is working! Trick your mind into switching this perspective by saying celebratory things aloud like “Yes! Half an ounce less than yesterday!” or something similar.
Feel your feelings
Let yourself sit with your emotions as they come. Be sad when you feel sad, and be happy when you feel happy! Without apology. There’s no one correct way to feel. Talk about your feelings with a trusted friend, journal, meditate, pray… whatever makes sense to you! Have grace with yourself along the way, you deserve it.
Guilt is a very common feeling when weaning. I weaned during the initial wave of C*vid, so I should know! You might feel guilty if you didn’t reach the goal you set for yourself, but many mothers feel guilt even after reaching their breast feeing goals. This guilt is common no matter if momma nursed directly at the breast or exclusively pumped, so you’re definitely not alone. One helpful tip I saw online was to change the way you talk to yourself others. Instead of “I only breastfed for 3 months” take the word “only” out and confidently say, “I breastfed for 3 months!”
Relief is also common! Pumping is a huge commitment and time suck! It’s natural to feel the freedom that follows weaning from the pump. Channel the energy you once gave to pumping into whatever makes you feel like YOU again!
Get support
If you need logistical help with weaning, call on your lactation professional to set up a weaning consultation and formulate a plan with them. If you are having trouble processing the emotional side of weaning, consider talking to a therapist/counselor, (you know I’m super pro-therapy!) or a mom friend who has already weaned and can relate. Share your weaning journey with your partner or another support person… even during the process of weaning, you can always use a cheerleader!
Hormones are a b*tch!
Just as your body underwent a huge hormonal shift giving birth and beginning lactation, your body goes through a hormonal shift when weaning. “We know that the hormones so important in breastfeeding – prolactin (milk making hormone) and oxytocin (the hormone of love and responsible for the milk ejection reflex) – play an important role in how we feel emotionally. Both oxytocin and prolactin contribute to feelings of calm, love, relaxation, closeness and contentment. As breastfeeding ends, both prolactin and oxytocin levels will lower – and so may your mood and sense of wellbeing.” (LaLeche League)
This will not last forever. You may experience mood swings, even depression or anxiety (even if you did not struggle with postpartum depression/anxiety earlier on.)
One momma shares her story- “I was easily upset, crying, and and feeling like I wish I could turn back time to when she was younger. This set in when I officially stopped pumping and lasted no more than 5 days. It was similar to my experience with the baby blues during those first days home from the hospital. It helped to look at pictures and videos of my daughter and focus on work and upcoming events/travel now that I had weaned.”
Other things to expect
- Return of your period- The drop in prolactin increases ovarian function, and return of the normal rhythms of estrogen and progesterone…. so if you haven’t gotten your cycle back, it may be coming soon!
- Engorgement- Another reason to wean slowly (Tips HERE) is to help your body adjust to infrequent milk removal. Use ice and antiinflamatory medicaiton to reduce engorgement. You may experience this days or even weeks after your last pump…. in that case, you may wish to pump just enough to relieve yourself.
- Weight gain- Now that your body is not expending so many calories on creating breastmilk, you may begin to gain weight. If this is an issue for you, it may be helpful to bring it up with your GP.
- Breast/Nipple changes: Your breasts may reduce in side or appear flatter after weaning. Your nipples may appear darker or longer, or even point in a different direction than below. This may rectify itself in the next few months, or in some cases, this change may be more permanent.
- Low Sex Drive- The drop in oxytocin, your “feel good” hormone, can result in a lower sex drive. As your hormonal levels even out, this may rectify itself quickly.
- Increased Sex Drive- Conversely, some mommas experience increased natural lubrication and decreased breast tenderness after weaning, which as you can imagine, can benefit your sex life.
Honor your journey
Finding ways to honor your journey can REALLY help with the emotional shift of weaning. It can help you get into a celebratory mindset and find closure on this chapter of your life. To celebrate my own two weaning journeys, I got a tattoo, made a trophy, had breastmilk jewelry made with milk from both of my babies, went drinking/dancing, wrote a thank-you letter to my body, took up running again, began eating dairy again (I had been on an elimination diet), and best of all… started Pump Momma Pump, LLC!
There are so many ways I’ve heard that mommas celebrated their breastfeeding journey… maybe you can find one or two things on this list to honor your own journey! Here are some ideas:
- Journaling/meditating/praying words of gratitude
- Writing a letter to your body/pump
- Going out to eat
- Making or ordering a cake
- Planning a vacation
- Pumping photoshoot
- Donating your pump or pump accessories
- Smashing their pump (this makes me sad, but you do you!)
- Returning to a favorite hobby or getting a new one
- Getting breastmilk jewelry
Breastmilk jewelry companies I have personally worked with:
Sources:
- “After Weaning- What Next?” by LaLecheLeagueGB
- “How do your hormones change after weaning?” VeryWell Family
- “How will my body change after weaning?” Medela.AU
Be sure to follow Pump Momma Pump on Instagram for education, motivation, and support! (And more great tips like these!)
Pump Momma Pump 